I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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