I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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