this just has baby written all over it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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