Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We have started to decorate penises.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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