I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
