my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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