we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
