Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize