i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
