I am in a vortex of obligation.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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