I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize