she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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