Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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