I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
