I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Randomize
