Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize