i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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