I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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