I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
