Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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