i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
