i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
