I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
