dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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