Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
