I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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