I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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