Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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