As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
