We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
