I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
