i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
