Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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