If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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