I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
