What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
