He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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