he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
where are you?
Hypothermia
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
