I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
