i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
