Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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