not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
