Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
