He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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