Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
