Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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