i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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