Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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