That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
