No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
