Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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