Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
