SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
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so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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