Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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