I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
