Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
