Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
