One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
