The maid of honor just puked.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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