is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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