She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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