...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
