i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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