Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
